Simplifying Your Life as a Working Mom

The ABCs of Simplifying your Life…you can do this!

A simplified life has many different contexts for different people. For me as a working Mom, it does not mean that my home needs to be brisk white and picture-perfect like in the magazines. Nor does it mean that I walk out of the house a pristine and organized person without a care in the world. No, far from it. What it means to me, is that there are always ways to make life a little easier, a little simpler along the way. It is a journey and no two are ever the same. As a Director of a preschool and a single Mom of four children, I found it appropriate to write this article stating the ABC’s of Simplifying your life as a working Mom. I hope it helps you along the way.

A…Ask

Ask the question…will this help simplify our family life or make it more difficult? Then weigh the pros and cons, most items that will make your life harder may not be worth it. However, sometimes it will, for example bringing a family pet into the house will make life harder but the sheer benefits will outweigh the negative. As for material items, ask yourself, do I need this or will it become another thing to dust in a few weeks?

Ask…will this help simplify our family life or make it more difficult?

“Ask” is also a great reference to asking for help when needed. Ask Grandmom to take the kids to the park for a few hours so you can clean the house. Ask that one friend who loves to organize to show you a few tricks in your home (trust me she will be honored you asked). Ask your family to pick up the slack and tackle the household tasks together. Children as young as two can help with household chores. There’s no reason that you need to take 10 minutes to clear the table when if everyone put their dishes in the dishwasher and helped clear the table, then most of the job is done.

B…Budget

Making a budget will help organize your financial goals. This can be difficult at times, but knowing how much money is coming in and how much is going out and where it is going to can be an eye-opening experience. Start small and track your expenses, save the receipts for one month and then do a basic tally. Many online banks have a program that can categorize your Bill pay and checking accounts. This is a quick and easy way to see where the bulk of your finances are going. You will be surprised to see how much those Lattes quickly add up. Knowing the facts about your finances will help you with future financial goals. It’s another step to help in the process of simplifying your life as a working Mom.

C…Clean and clear as you go

This is one of the most helpful tips I know. Especially in the kitchen, while you are waiting for water to boil for the pasta, wipe down the counter, wash a few dishes, and put away finished items. If you clean as you go it makes the final clean up time so much easier. At bed-time have your children put away their toothbrush, hairbrush and other essentials. Give the children the job of wiping the sink after they brush their teeth, let them use baby wipes and when you follow up with your disinfectant clean, it will be a much easier process. Plus it teaches your children to clean up after themselves. They like doing it when they are little so its a perfect time to make it a habit. With 4 children, I cannot tell you how much this made cleaning the bathrooms so much easier.

D…Declutter and Donate

There are always areas that can be decluttered. With children, your home will always have some version of clutter. It’s just inevitable. What’s the saying?… cleaning with children is like plowing the driveway in a snowstorm or wiping off your shoes while standing in a mud puddle…you get the idea.  However, as you attack your endless piles of clutter always try to donate unnecessary items. Otherwise, you are just moving items from one spot in your house to another. Decluttering can become a mindless process but one that will help in the process of simplifying your life as a working Mom. Donating un-loved or unwanted items can be extremely beneficial to others. I, like many benefitted from hand-me-down clothes for my children and I am extremely grateful to have them.

E….Evaluate and Eliminate

This goes along with Declutter and Donate. Always evaluate items in your house that are unnecessary and eliminate, however it also applies to unnecessary tasks. Do you have to make 3 different kinds of desserts for the PTA meeting or will one be sufficient? (Yes 1 is fine!) Evaluate and declutter your calendars and commitments also. Be selective with social engagements and activities. This will go a long way in simplifying your life as a working Mom. Your time is precious, so evaluate your calendar commitments and eliminate the unnecessary.

F….Frugal Footprints

There is a huge difference between being frugal and being cheap. Being frugal is smart!

Try to reduce your purchases by identifying the difference between wants and needs. Know when and where it is okay to be frugal. A budgeted income will force you to be frugal. There is a huge difference between being frugal and being cheap. Being frugal is being smart! Buying a more expensive backpack that will last many years is being frugal. Buying the cheapest backpack that will break as soon as they use it because it has the coolest character on it, and then duck taping the strap is being cheap. Buying your child one well-made backpack is frugal and very smart. Buying one to match different outfits is not!

G…Grudges…avoid them

So much time and energy is wasted holding grudges. Eliminate negative people in your life and avoid the grudge factor. Of course, if they are family, you will be happier if you don’t let their actions affect yours. Time wasted holding grudges is usually not reciprocated and will not change the outcome. A better and simpler way to avoid the grudge factor is to avoid the people and situations that cause them.

Eliminate negative people in your life and avoid the grudge factor.

H…Home, have a home for everything

Have a home for everything in your house. Your house does not need to be a picture on a magazine, mine certainly isn’t. But when everything you own has a proper space…a home, then organization is so much easier. Plus think about all the time you waste trying to remember where certain items are. For example,…have a key rack or key bowl to place your keys every time you walk in the house, then when you are late getting Jimmy to pre-school you will not waste time trying to find your keys. Have one spot for Band-aids is important when your daughter skins her knee as she walked out the door, and you need to comfort her instead of running around looking for the band-aids.

I…Identify what is most important to you and your family

Identify what is most important to you and your family. Family time is precious, always allow for it! Reduce the overwhelming and usually unnecessary tasks for you and your family. No-one will do this for you.

No-one will say..”You know what, Grace..you do so much..just take a break.” Nope, won’t happen, so you need to do it for yourself and your family.

J…Junk Drawer

Admit it, we all have them. There is always a junk drawer that needs simplifying, no matter how organized you are, it will happen. That’s ok, sometimes it’s better to have one drawer of odds and ends then having the items out everywhere. Embrace it, allow it, don’t lose any sleep over it. But realize that is always an activity that you can designate to be cleaned out often from your children or spouse.  

K..Keep up contacts with your true friends

You should find friends that will understand your busy life and not put on additional demands.

Keep up contacts with your true friends, this has been hard for me to do and it is one part of my life that I truly regret. You should find friends that will understand your busy life and not put on additional demands. You will need this outlet for many different reasons, even if it is only a text here and there. However, if you can make the time to have occasional meetings and get-togethers it will be very beneficial.

L…Lists are you’re biggest tool to simplify your life

Make lists often, even for the sheer fact of crossing items off of your list is so damn rewarding! I have a mixture of lists from paper grocery list of items needed on the Fridge (grab and go when going to the store) to the extensive work list that I keep on my phone. Keeping a list of items that need to be done in the visible family hub and calendar area also is a constant reminder to everyone else of what needs to be done.

M…Meal Planning

Meal planning will help simplify many aspects of your day. It will help eliminate time wasted trying to figure out what to prepare for dinner every night. It will help simplify the grocery shopping tasks knowing what you need to purchase and ultimately help you keep a reasonable food budget. If you have recipe cards with items needed to purchase at the bottom, you can make an easy grocery list from that. Pick 7 recipes and there are your week’s grocery list for dinners.

N…No…Learn how to say “No”

No…I do not want to be the PTA president, but I will volunteer for certain activities.

No…I cannot bake 3 desserts for the party but I can pick up a package of cupcakes from the grocery store.

No…Junior does not need to be on 3 soccer teams, he’s 8 and one team is fine. We can worry about college recruiters at a later time.

No…we will not be able to make Samantha’s birthday party for her Guinea pig, but I will have Sally send her a card

No…I cannot make all of the costumes for the ballet concert, I don’t know how to sew and I don’t have the time to learn, but I will help shop and purchase the items needed.

No…we can’t make the 110^th celebration of the school playground, we have special family time activities planned.

No…we are not coming to your brother in law’s, cousin’s best friends engagement party that’s two state’s away.

You get the idea! If someone judges you for it, that’s on them

O…Organize often

The more areas of your life that are organized the less time is wasted searching and frustrated. With that being said, go easy on yourself, life with children is an adventure, and one you do not want to miss out on. Organize when and where you can, get the family involved in the process. Little things help, have a set area for your keys everyday, so you don’t waste time looking for them. Have a organization to the fridge that makes unpacking groceries and cooking meals run smoother. Put all of your store receipts in an envelope in your purse, to keep them organized and not junking up your purse. But when organizing becomes more of a chore instead of helping, re-analyze. You don’t want to miss Junior’s first steps because you were alphabetizing the seasoning rack.

P…Pay off your debt

Having increasing debt weighs heavier on you than you think. This may not be a simple process, but just by having a pay off plan will give you more peace of mind. Having debt weighs heavily on your every day thought process and makes it difficult to enjoy life as a whole. You may not be able to eliminate debt all at once, but if you have a goal and are making steps to accomplish your goals, at least you will have the assurance that you are in control. Peace of mind plays a huge role in the process of simplifying your life as a working Mom.

Q….Quiet time

Make sure to give yourself some quiet down time often. How many times are we interrupted just going the bathroom. It’s cute but it will drain ya’ after awhile, unless you work in time for yourself. After the kids are in bed, take time to read a book, wake up before your children and have a cup of coffee. Make a date night with your better half, or go out with girlfriends. It does not have to happen everyday but at least try to make some down time for yourself when you can for your own sanity. You will be a better person and more able to focus on all the different roles that you juggle.

R…Routines

Instill morning and evening routines to help simplify your daily schedules. I can’t say this enough. If everyone in the family knows what is expected of them (especially at bedtime) the easier life will be for everyone. Routine mornings will set your day off in an easier flow and ultimately make the day run smoother. Its hard to collect your thoughts and actions if you start off on a bad foot. Just the same for bedtime. If your evening ritual becomes difficult or doesn’t run smoothly, neither will your sleep for the night, making the next day much more difficult. The morning and the bedtime routines will be the most important aspects to master for your ultimate sense of peace and sanity.

S…Single Task instead of always Multi tasking

I know, I know..this contradicts what I have said above, however please choose times to single task instead of multi-tasking. I find this extremely important when interacting with your children. In the education field it breaks my heart if I see a parent on the phone when they pick up their child. What a valuable moment they just missed, and what a sad message it sends to your child. Be in the moment, you won’t be sorry!

T…Time Task Tally

Make a quick list and calculate your time and how it is spent. Is it used wisely? Is there enough padded time between activities and commitments? Are you wasting valuable time that could be spent on activities that are more important to you and your family. It’s another necessary step in the process of simplifying your life as a working Mom. There are only so many hours in a day, minutes in an hour…choose wisely.

U…Unplug

This may seem obvious but you will be surprised how often we don’t do it. Unplug and spend more actual time with your family. It is truly disheartening to know how much time is wasted with technology from TV to social media etc., at the cost of connecting with our love ones. Children learn by example and it won’t be long until the little ones learn to make technology their priority also. At the very least, turn off all technology, including your phone during dinner time. It has made such a huge impact in our family life!

V…Validate your emotions

Validate your emotions and recognize when you are starting to get overwhemed.

Validate your emotions and recognize when you are starting to get overwhelmed. When you recognize the signs you can find solutions much easier. You have the right to your emotions, even when they make no sense at all. You know that ugly face cry that you didn’t see coming or the snippy attitude you gave your son when he asked for the 3rd cup of water. It happens to all of us. The emotions that we have are also part of what makes us good parents. Your emotions are examples of your caring heart, sounds strange but it’s true. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have the emotions that come with caring…happy, sad, and everywhere in between.

W….Work Tasks

This is a tough one, but try to separate your work tasks from your family tasks. Try not to bring work home and try not to bring home to work. It is easier said then done. However when you have a clean separation of tasks, life is much easier to accommodate in each role. This is extremely important in the process of simplifying your life as a working Mom.

Try not to bring work home and try not to bring home to work.

X….X put an x on the items on your lists that are unrealistic.

Don’t make things harder than they need to be. Cross off the items that are unrealistic, don’t add more pressure than you need to have. Maybe you don’t need a top line vehicle until you can afford it and junior won’t leave cheerios in the back seat. The mini-van is just fine for a while. Maybe your house does not need to be pristine all the time…it should be okay for junior to play with his puzzle and matchboxes on the floor.

Y…Yard work

Try to create an easy to maintain yard or areas of your yard to decrease the workload. Planting groundcover plants selectively will make the mowing and weeding time much easier. Frugal tip, ask a neighbor or friend if you can have clippings from their lawn. Most people will be proud that you asked and willing to share or help. Include all family members in the yard work process. Even toddlers can help, digging in the dirt, pulling weeds or collecting rocks for bedding and edging. Ask your neighbors if there is a teen or pre-teen interested in earning money doing lawn work. This is a great 1st job for many young children learning responsibility.

Z…ZZZs Make sure to get proper sleep.

This is easier said than done and is definitely my most difficult tip to follow. However, without proper sleep, everything else in your day will automatically become harder. All aspects from concentration to having the basic energy to get through your day. I know it is tempting to do “just one more thing” but prioritize your sleep. Proper sleep is so important, we know this with our own children, yet we often don’t attribute it to ourselves. We all can tell right away when our own child is in desperate need of a nap or late for bed, we adults are no different, As much as I love coffee it is only a band-aid when your body is tired.

Enjoy the journey, but always look for ways to simplify your life.

Life can be difficult; it is also an incredible gift. Enjoy the journey, but always look for ways to simplify your life.

Simplifying your life as a working Mom isn’t just a goal, it is a necessity. There are always ways to make your life easier if you are open to learning. Take tips from family and friends, and accept help when it is offered to you. Re-evaluate what is truly important to you and your family. Take the steps one at a time, it;s as basic as learning your A, B, C’s. It isn’t always easy but every little bit helps. Enjoy the little moments, they often become your most precious memories.